I started a Tumblr account last year, but today I thought that it felt pointless. I am in no way having a go at people on Tumblr who have an account just to share their life with others, but I just felt that I did have something to contribute, but was too scared to do so. I have decided that is is time to stop fearing the judgement of others and stop being scared of the vulnerability that comes with opening yourself to a wide world of people that I don’t know. But enough of that. Even if one person reads this and feels less alone, well, it makes all that fear worth it.
I have had depression for quite a few years now and at the beginning of 2012 I was also diagnosed with social anxiety.
I am in no way a professional on either topic, as in I have never studied either. All I know about these two illnesses is what I have learnt/been through on my own. My own experiences. My highs and my many lows. The bad choices I’ve made as a consequence and the way everything that has happened - the good and the bad - up until this point, has shaped me, and will continue to do so for the rest of my life.
There is no cure for depression. There is medication out there to help with it - this helps with balancing out the chemical imbalance in the brain. I for one can say that whilst the medication does help now, it is quite an exhausting process finding the medication that is right for you. It is (unfortunately) not just as simple as being diagnosed and then getting a script for a standard, universal anti depressant. Different medication effects people differently. Firstly there are different degrees of depression. As far as I am aware there is no scale for this but, like many illness, there are different degrees of severity, none of which are easy, and all of which can be invisible to others if the sufferer wishes it so.
The fact that it can be ‘hidden’ is one of the many hard things about depression. Many people suffer in silence. I for one am often told how happy and positive I am. Many people I know neither know I have depression, nor would they guess. Now I do consider myself a positive person, but some days it gets really hard to be that way, and I would much rather crawl into bed and not come out…just want to block out the world. I don’t want to see anyone. I don’t want anyone’s sympathy. I want to be completely ignored, forgotten about. But people outside of myself do not see this. This is why I say it is an invisible illness to those who do not have it. My friends see me at my best, because I do not allow them to see me at my worst.
I will be speaking about my own experiences with both anxiety and depression, sharing my personal perspective, the perspectives of other people with depression, and will also be sharing the voices of those who share their lives with a sufferer of depression/anxiety.
I am not using this page to preach, or to gather sympathy. The sole purpose is to enlighten some people about both depression/anxiety, to provide a platform to discuss these illnesses, and to show/remind people that they ARE NOT ALONE in their struggles and successes, and that someone, somewhere in the world is proud of you for fighting this every day of your life. Proud of you for getting out of bed. Proud of you for getting to work. Proud of you for being here, because for many, that is a feat in itself.
You all deserve a beautiful life.
I love you.
I am currently working my way through a breakup of a two and half year relationship. There are so many things that I'm struggling with:
the loss of friends - those who were my boyfriends friends originally - the puppy we got - once you've had an animal it's so hard being without - and the missing stream of texts/calls that would break up the monotony of the day. But what I'm struggling with the most, is seeing someone you love, fall out of love with you, right before your eyes.
My name is Lucy Hennessy, and today I had this thought.
It’s crazy how quickly time passes. As I keep growing up, I swear every year passes even quicker than the last. I have also grown to learn a very important lesson, something that I will keep learning and keep applying to my life for as long as I am gifted to live.
People need to stop waiting for ‘the right time.’ No time will ever be perfect, it’s what you do at every point of time that gives it the possibility to be extraordinary.
If you love someone - whether it be a partner, a friend, family - tell them: don’t stress over the consequences.
If you have a dream, chase it: don’t doubt yourself over the opinions of other, who can’t understand your vision.
If you want to travel, then go: you will learn more through your own experiences of seeing the world, than you could ever learn in a book.
If you are unhappy, stop putting off positive changes ‘till tomorrow’: today is as good a day as any to give yourself the attention you deserve.
Let go of grudges, for they use up too much energy: focus your attention on people you love, and be kind to those you don’t know. Apologise when you know you’ve done wrong: don’t wait for someone else to say sorry first. Take pride in the fact that you can choose to be the bigger person.
Compliment people and tell them when you’re proud: the world would be a better place if people were kinder, so take every opportunity to make a positive change to someone’s day.
If you need help, ask for it: don’t be afraid of needing people, or worrying about what they’ll think. If they love you, they will help without judgement. After all, everyone needs help sometimes.
And smile, whenever you can: a smile is the cheapest, easiest and most readily available gift to give someone, whether they are a friend or stranger. You never know how someone is feeling, and a smile from you may just make their day, and do more for them than you could possibly realise.
While life may be the longest thing you ever do, it’s also too short to waste on doubts, fears and negativity. No one can be happy every second of every day, but don’t dwell on the times you’re unhappy. Allow yourself to accept it and move on accordingly.
Every minute you live is a second chance for yourself: grab these chances with both hands, an open heart and a smile, and make them count. If it doesn’t work out, it’s a lesson, not a failure. And luckily, there’s always second chance just waiting for you to take it.
So stop putting everything down to timing because now will always be as good a time as any